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Today Is The Day
Get ready for it.
Okay Then, That Was Unexpected...
Weird.
Church Art Shouldn't Make You Say "Blech!"
Or cringe.
Cardinal Urges Priests To Liven Up Sermons
I got some ideas...
New Translation Objections Are Becoming More Ridiculous
Grasping at straws...
This Comes As No Surprise
Up with the ex-communicated!
Things A Catholic Ought Never Say
Watch your mouth!
Sister Patricia: On Seven Quick-Takes Friday
Catching up with Sr Pat.
Just Thought You'd Like To Know...
A public service announcement.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Final Frontier In Fragrances




These are rather extreme even for the most rabid Trekkies. The line on the Red Shirt package is pretty funny, though - "Because tomorrow may never come."

But then I got thinking - which can sometimes be a dangerous thing - what if prominent progressive Catholics were to develop their own line of colognes? What would the brand names be? How would they be marketed? What would the packages look like?

Well, wonder no longer. AoftheA SmartA** Promotions™ has just released three new fragrances that will announce to the world that you, yes you! are a progressive Catholic.



First off the bottling line is "Heresy"™. If you're the kind of guy who likes to argue for reasonable positions on unreasonable topics, and want to smell good while doing so, then this cologne is for you. Combining the heavy musk of arrogance with just a hint of smugness, Heresy ™ is bound to turn heads and get the conversation started!





Next on the list is a flighty, flirty concoction we call "Eau de Schism"™. Designed for the progressive nun of the 21st century, this delicate perfume combines the subtlety of polyester with the elegance of disobedience. A quick spritz of this and you're ready to answer the call to action! Like the tagline says: "Boldly go...away!" You're off to the protest in style!!




Last but not least is the seductive perfume for the womynpreest in your life, "Sacrilege"™. We've blended 13 herbs and spices, a dash of Metamucil and a secret ingredient to create a fragrance that tells the world: "Excommunicate me, baby!" A splash is all you need before boarding that riverboat or entering that non-denominational place of worship - and you'll be desecrating all night long!



All three colognes come in environmentally friendly recycled packaging. Each cologne retails at the affordable price of 30 pieces of silver.
Buy yours today, and smell like the Spirit of Vatican II tomorrow!