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A public service announcement.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Cosmic Relief

***A Public Service Announcement from AoftheA***

Because I value the mental well-being of you, my readers, I must insist that you refrain from following the link to the article cited below. There's no telling what side effects may result - resist the temptation to proceed and read the article in full. If you do, I cannot accept any responsibility for what neural damage or mental incapacitation you might experience. Blogging protocol forces me to provide the link - but under no circumstances, unless you possess strong mental faculties or are currently taking strong anti-psychotropic prescriptive medication, should you go to the article. Special precautions were made in providing excerpts of the article, ensuring no ill effects.

Don't try this at home - I.....am a professional.

Thank you for your attention. This concludes the PSA.

********************************************************


Sr. Joan Chittister must be channeling Timothy Leary, Lewis Carroll and the writers of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Here are excerpts of her latest piece at the National Catholic Distorter

The God Who Beckons

[...]

There was a time when asking a question about the purpose of life was simpler than it is now because the answer never changed. Whatever existed and happened, we knew, was the eternal will and calculated design of the God who had made things. Our one purpose in life was to keep a set of basically intractable but ultimately fundamental rules until we had managed to negotiate this world well enough to escape it to a better one.

The process was clear. The rules were unequivocal. Life was a game played to achieve spiritual perfection, despite the fact that we came to realize as life went on that perfection essentially and continually eluded us. Worse, “God’s will for us” was never totally apparent but we knew that it had something to do with ferreting out and being faithful to an eternal plan fully known only by God but incumbent upon us.

We learned that God had a particular function or role for each of us: male and female, clergy and lay, slave and free, ruler and ruled. In that schema the purpose of life was certain, however obscure the project itself. It was, in other words, a game of cosmic dice. Some people won; some people didn’t. And God was in charge of it all.

Until Charles came along.

The unfolding of Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution and the launch, ironically, of the priest Georges LemaĆ®tre’s big bang theory -- you can imagine how popular that made him in the church -- changed everything. Evolution and the big bang theory may have clarified the questions of science about the origin and end of life but they continue to this day to unsettle what until now had become relatively standard, unarguable theological conclusions concerning the ways of God with the world.

[...]

A self-creating universe becomes co-creator with the humble God who shares power and waits for the best from us and provides for what we need to make it happen. We become participants in the process of life and the development of the world that is not so much planned as it is enabled. As nature grows, experiments, unfolds, selects and adapts, so then must we. Growth, not perfection, becomes the purpose of life. Ongoing creation, not predestined fate, becomes the purpose of life.

The very process of human growth, not human puppetry in the hands of a disinterested and demanding God, becomes the purpose of life. And God becomes the God of a universe on its way to growing into glory, of becoming one with its creator. Life ceases to be a program of expectations tied up in a black box, the purpose of which is to tease us into unlocking and unraveling the mystery of our lives before it gets to be too late to achieve it.

In an evolving world, then, God becomes “becoming.” God is the one who stands by as we grow from one self to another, from one level of insight to another, from one age and awareness to another. God, we come to understand, is not the God of fixed determinations now. The past is no longer a template of forever. God becomes instead the God of the future. God, we come to see in the model that is evolutionary, is promise and possibility and forever emerging life.

[...]

We are meant to create with the creator. We are here to discover the rest of ourselves in an equally evolving cosmos. We are not about perfection. We are about always selecting the better, about entering into the transformation of the world as it experiments with life, chooses for life, sees mistakes not as failure but as one more learning on the ladder of spiritual success.

[...]

Evolution shows us that the God of becoming is a beckoning God who goes before us to invite us on, to sustain us on the way, rather than a judging God who measures us by a past we did not shape.

I'm going to translate and condense this New-Agey post-Christian humanistic stomach-turning brain-twisting mumbo-jumbo moonbattery into something more intelligible.

"Whoaaaaaa, the universe is so, like, cosmic and fluid. We are becoming the change as we change into what is becoming. This is, like, the dawning of the Age of Aquarius! Life flows within us and all around us and out of us, like, whooooaaaaa. Like, dude, it is so AWESOME! I am he and he is she and we are we and we are all together! Evolving wonders goopy huggle biddy whoopsie! Yeaaaahhhh.....I am so, like, aware of the cosmic reality that is our destiny.... look! I see Charles Darwin! Hee hee hee his ears look funny! And his head is growing bigger......oooooooooooh, it just explooooooded!!! Colors flying all around me and, like, hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa I'm flyyyyyyyiiiinnnngggggg!! Moving beyond Jesus towards a deeper understanding of our creatorness.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Trust me - my translation makes more sense.