The recent development with the Traditional Anglican Community has given me pause to reflect and think about my place in the Catholic Church. Over the course of the last week, I've read thoughtful, well-reasoned opinion pieces in main street media publications. I've pored over numerous Catholic commentators who have done their level best in explaining the motivation for the upcoming Apostolic Constitution. When you combine the journalistic firepower of Maureen Dowd, David Gibson, the Young Voices column at the National Catholic Reporter, and Call-to-Action's Young Adult Catholics blog, you're forced to look in the mirror, own up to the facts, and accept things as they are.
At least, that's how it affected me.
So after some deep soul-searching these past couple days, I've come to a decision. It was difficult, but I can no longer live a lie. It may mean that some of you, perhaps most of you, will no longer read my blog, and may even encourage others to do the same. So be it. Like I said, I can no longer live a lie and be someone I'm not. I don't want to be misleading anyone, any longer.
So here goes.
I'm a misogynist/homophobe/closed-minded/ultra-conservative Catholic. MHCU, for short.
I've been trying to hide my lifestyle for years, by appearing compassionate, loving and respectful towards others. Not even my closest friends know, and Mrs LarryD? Well, she always had suspicions, and the gig was up when she uncovered my collection of Scott Hahn books squirreled away behind Hans Kung texts, and my Fr. Corapi CD's tucked inside a hollowed-out copy of Richard McBrien's Catholicism. She's bearing this patiently, and for that I'm grateful. But make no mistake - I am a hater. The mask is off, and it's time to start being true to myself. I feel better already as I'm typing these words.
Before people start linking to this and going viral with the bombshell that LarryD has come out and admitted his ultra-conservatism, let me just say a few more things.
First, I didn't choose this lifestyle. Do you honestly believe that I've willingly become a hater, to be someone that others will despise simply due to the way I live my life? To be the object of derision? And don't preach to me about "changing" - that's all a sham and unsupported by biased psychological studies. I am who I am - and since I have to deal with it, so do you. I'm asking you to accept me for who I am. I'm really no different just because I'm a hater. Just because I don't care about your feelings, doesn't mean you have the right to disrespect mine.
Secondly, I believe I was born this way. My parents did a great job raising me, teaching me to love my neighbor and treat everyone equally, but deep down, all of that felt...unnatural to me. As a high schooler, I finally came out to my parents, explaining to them that I would never ever belong to a Church that ordained women. If they were disappointed, they didn't show it. In fact, they were very supportive. Sometimes I wonder if maybe they're not closet haters too.
Thirdly, don't bother quoting Scripture to me. All those passages in the Bible about how "no haters shall enter the Kingdom" have been misinterpreted purposely to suppress the MHCU community, to deny us equality. And besides, Christ said almost nothing about hating in the Gospels, so it couldn't have been an important matter to Him.
Finally, I'm tired of the unfair treatment haters are getting. Did you know that haters are being excluded from the upcoming American Catholic Council? From their website:
This qualification decision was made to ensure that groups committed to a pre-Vatican II restoration of a clerical, hierarchical Church or who rejected the roles and responsibilities of all baptized did not attempt to co-opt or abort the Council. We realized that the importance of Vatican II was often lost on Catholics born after the 1950s—but we decided that we could articulate the principles of Vatican II without focusing on the Vatican Council itself.
See? We're not being invited to the table, which is not something Jesus would have done.
Haters like me are made in the image and likeness of God, and God doesn't make mistakes. We're baptized members of the Church, and such exclusion is very un-Christlike. Jesus hung out with haters, you know. He was inclusive. The MHCU community is growing, and we have a voice. More and more people are coming out every day, proud of our haterness.
I'm sorry if this revelation disappoints any of you...well, actually, no I'm not.
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Thursday, October 29, 2009
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26 Comments:
I'll scribble a meeting place and time on the bathroom wall where we can meet and read Ott's Fundamentals of Catholic Dogma together.
As far as the ACC, LOL:
"The initial core group VOTF national members, enhanced very early with representatives of CTA, ARCC, Corpus, WOC and Future Church"
Translation: we are hemorraging members, so let's put all the bad eggs in one basket.
You're my BHFF.
Misogynist? I don't believe it for a moment. Anti-feminist? Yes, of course. Maybe you can join the other Cavemen at http://catholic-caveman.blogspot.com/
Funny post, but in all seriousness, you need to look a little further down the spectrum of Catholic identification before designating yourself "ultra-conservative". I know large groups of people well within the Church's fold who would consider you a "neocon" (at best ;). And from my own viewpoint (and I've seen it aalllll) Fr. Corapi and Dr. Scott are not exactly "ultra-conservative" reading material. With a little realignment of my own Catholic social life, I went from being the most rigid "conservative" in my parish to more wiggle-room "liberal" than any Catholic with whom I know associate, and my perspective as regards religion (by such measures) is more in your ballpark. I'm just saying, there's a bigger context to this Catholic thing. I get your humor, but if you're going to employ labels like that, you need to come up with terms more ultra than "ultra".
By the way, I love the blog (and I mean that!)
~Ben
Yes, Larry...I read the comment you left on the American Catholic Council's blog ("So when is the ball going to get rolling on this? Seems to be stuck in neutral or something.- LarryD") and your MHCUism was so obvious.
Can't you get a shot or something for it?
I knew it! It all makes so much sense now! It takes one to know one man! I'm a MHCUist too. We are everywhere!
Hi, my name is Angela and I'm a hater too.
It's funny to read about The American Catholic Council being worried about the "haters" trying to "abort" the Council!!! They LOVE aborting babies!! Aborting is good, right?!
Well, you've inspired me, Larry... I just may gain the courage to come out as well!
Long live the haters!
MHCU here, too! And I might add "bitter clinger".
I left my parish because of the subtle resistance to anything they considered "ultra-orthodox" in music, liturgy - you name it.
Our pastor holds the position that pre-Vatican II peeps didn't get anything out of the Mass compared to the great spirituality they experience now (Ugh!), Gregorian chant is horrible, incense should never be used, and on and on!
proud MHCU'er here too
I'd be a MHCU'er too, but...homo_phobe_? I think not.
I'm not afraid of them at all. And neither are you. *grin*. Great post from a great blog.
Angela M
Sorry, but you can't join the club, it is after all the MHCU. We recently established a Ladies Auxiliary which you can join for a $25 yearly membership fee. This should in no way be taken as implying a move towards revoking the "M" in MHCU; we just needed a way of defraying the cost of the beer we consume at our weekly meetings.
My name is Christine and I am a hater too. Tell me where I can send my $25 to become a member of the Frenemies Society, aka the true name of the Ladies Auxiliary for the MHCU.
Didn't the APA estimate that 10% of all people were born haters, or have they moved away from espousing the genetic component of our "condition" as well.
Yours in hate,
C
If you have trouble with the homophobe label, perhaps you can substitute the term those insipid "safe zone" groups do: Heterosexist. lol
To everyone - thanks for your support. It's comforting to know I'm surrounded by so many faithful haters.
Hah! I love the entry Larry! I'm a closet hater too!! Sometimes I scare my co-workers by saying things as they are... It's a rough road to walk, but I'll be joining the Ladies' Auxiliary and send you guys a 6-pack for your meetings as well. Where do you meet so my husband can join too:)?
Will the real LarryD please stand up?
Here's video of his "coming out" party:
http://fratres.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/larryds-coming-out-party/
jme
Hello Friends congratulate them on their blog and I hope to have the opportunity to visit ours when you have time, our blog's mission is to comfort those who suffer and today is a brief biography of St. Philomena.
For now we are his followers and we will be watching their publications.
Greetings
http://sedconsolacion.blogspot.com
jme - that was a good party, wasn't it?
"we decided that we could articulate the principles of Vatican II without focusing on the Vatican Council itself."
Sounds like me that they are afraid to actually look at Vatican II. I suspect it is because they know that if they do then people will realize the principles they are articulating have nothing to do with Vatican II & are promoting an agenda to destroy the Catholic Church.
PS When is the 1st meeting of MHCUs Unanamous so I can join?
Love the way you took what they claim to support their views to show their hypocricy.
Al - thanks. And if you noticed, the MHCU is a step above LGBT (kinda like HAL and IBM from 2001:A Space Odyssey).
As to the 1st meeting? Shoot, it's been meeting for 2000 years! Didn't you get the memo? lol
Don't forget to support your local Hate Pride parade...also known as a Eucharistic procession.
Very Funny.
Dim Bulb - oops you are right! We will open our Ladie's Auxilliary soon!
Larry, no I didn't catch the HAL-IBM connection. Very clever.
As for "MHCUs Unanamous" I am looking more for a support group for those of us who live in an area where many so called nuns, the Sinsinawa Dominicans & the Frannies (Franciscans) in particular are pro-abortion. There are a few elderly Presentation Sisters who protest our local Planned Parenthood, but they are the exception. & that is only 1 example of what it is like (with a few exceptions here in DBQ. We have 2 "Catholic in Name Only" Colleges, etc.
(There is 1 parish in DBQ & 1 in E DBQ that are the exception & have good pastors.)
Perhaps in a feeling and emotion driven world, labels are the only way we can identify each other.
I have come to the conclusion that within the worldview I believe that God wants us to have in our short time here, getting caught up in the battles of hurling labels while we are here is to miss the heaven we can experience - NOW. Are we not constrained enough by our own carnality to this existence without having to use our intellect to come up with labels for others? Labels do just that. They constrain - and strain our relationship with God.
To shed this behavior is humanly impossible. However, with Christ all things are possible. We have to develop the worldview God wants us to have - and that can only be done with something I like to call a Eucharistic Perspective. I am sure I am not original or enlightened more than any other - but this perspective changes the way we view the world.
For instance, in my Eucharistic Perspective, I perceive that the Holy Bible is the Word of God - and that the Word was made flesh. This Word made flesh was the Son of God who came to die for us. The Old Testament prepares us for it - the New Testament testifies to it. But it wasn't enough for Jesus just to come, die, and rise.....we must consume Him. Therefore, I can perceive that the Word of God - all of it...down to the very last comma, was written about the preparing of the world for, the witness of Jesus as, and the implementation of, the Most Holy Eucharist. For in my perception - the Holy Eucharist is the beginning of my faith and the end of it. It is the Source and the Summit...which if that's the case the Alpha and the Omega - Genesis and the Apocalypse take on new meaning.
In Genesis - God made man in His image and likeness - for the Holy Eucharist. God inspired David to write the Psalms - for the Holy Eucharist. God sent His only Son - to institute the Holy Eucharist. God sent the Holy Spirit at Pentecost - to give them power to give the Holy Eucharist to the world. God enabled man to receive the gift of faith - to believe in the Holy Eucharist.
The Holy Eucharist then - is our heaven on earth. It is a preview of things to come in heaven. The more we perfect ourselves - namely our intellects and will - and the way in which we receive Him in the Holy Eucharist only perfects the Union which takes place as we receive Him. We have to form our intellects and wills in such a way that this Union with Christ occurs more perfectly every time - which requires living every moment the will of God more completely than the last. Frequent confession, living in the NOW for God alone, and focusing on the logs in our own eyes - are ways to do this.
The Church has lost all of its battles precisely with this being the root cause - belief in and reception of the Holy Eucharist. The Church's witness of it's members to the rest of the world of the beauty of the Eucharistic Sacrifice - is why we lose. But if we would only seek to consume Him as perfectly as we can - soon the consummation will not be us of Him - but Him of us. The world will no longer be able to see us - but Him. The marriage of Christ to His Bride begins with each of us in the way we receive Him in Holy Communion.
So then, can having a Eucharistic Perception of the world - include judging and labelling others? Perhaps it is we that are labelled - but what witness do we live if we create labels ourselves for others who label us? Are we to be passive and commit ourselves to be silent? No. We are not called to be carpet. However, it could be argued though - that the reason we are losing the spiritual battles is because of the method in which we are fighting the war. The souls that are dedicated to more perfectly preparing themselves to receive the Body and Blood of Our Lord, are different sorts of soldier than they who are caught up in the war paying little attention to the detail taken in receiving Him in the Holy Eucharist.
God bless you all - especially the priests who bring Him to the Altar.
Luke1_28
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