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Thursday, October 29, 2009

A Confession

The recent development with the Traditional Anglican Community has given me pause to reflect and think about my place in the Catholic Church. Over the course of the last week, I've read thoughtful, well-reasoned opinion pieces in main street media publications. I've pored over numerous Catholic commentators who have done their level best in explaining the motivation for the upcoming Apostolic Constitution. When you combine the journalistic firepower of Maureen Dowd, David Gibson, the Young Voices column at the National Catholic Reporter, and Call-to-Action's Young Adult Catholics blog, you're forced to look in the mirror, own up to the facts, and accept things as they are.

At least, that's how it affected me.

So after some deep soul-searching these past couple days, I've come to a decision. It was difficult, but I can no longer live a lie. It may mean that some of you, perhaps most of you, will no longer read my blog, and may even encourage others to do the same. So be it. Like I said, I can no longer live a lie and be someone I'm not. I don't want to be misleading anyone, any longer.

So here goes.

I'm a misogynist/homophobe/closed-minded/ultra-conservative Catholic. MHCU, for short.

I've been trying to hide my lifestyle for years, by appearing compassionate, loving and respectful towards others. Not even my closest friends know, and Mrs LarryD? Well, she always had suspicions, and the gig was up when she uncovered my collection of Scott Hahn books squirreled away behind Hans Kung texts, and my Fr. Corapi CD's tucked inside a hollowed-out copy of Richard McBrien's Catholicism. She's bearing this patiently, and for that I'm grateful. But make no mistake - I am a hater. The mask is off, and it's time to start being true to myself. I feel better already as I'm typing these words.

Before people start linking to this and going viral with the bombshell that LarryD has come out and admitted his ultra-conservatism, let me just say a few more things.

First, I didn't choose this lifestyle. Do you honestly believe that I've willingly become a hater, to be someone that others will despise simply due to the way I live my life? To be the object of derision? And don't preach to me about "changing" - that's all a sham and unsupported by biased psychological studies. I am who I am - and since I have to deal with it, so do you. I'm asking you to accept me for who I am. I'm really no different just because I'm a hater. Just because I don't care about your feelings, doesn't mean you have the right to disrespect mine.

Secondly, I believe I was born this way. My parents did a great job raising me, teaching me to love my neighbor and treat everyone equally, but deep down, all of that felt...unnatural to me. As a high schooler, I finally came out to my parents, explaining to them that I would never ever belong to a Church that ordained women. If they were disappointed, they didn't show it. In fact, they were very supportive. Sometimes I wonder if maybe they're not closet haters too.

Thirdly, don't bother quoting Scripture to me. All those passages in the Bible about how "no haters shall enter the Kingdom" have been misinterpreted purposely to suppress the MHCU community, to deny us equality. And besides, Christ said almost nothing about hating in the Gospels, so it couldn't have been an important matter to Him.

Finally, I'm tired of the unfair treatment haters are getting. Did you know that haters are being excluded from the upcoming American Catholic Council? From their website:

This qualification decision was made to ensure that groups committed to a pre-Vatican II restoration of a clerical, hierarchical Church or who rejected the roles and responsibilities of all baptized did not attempt to co-opt or abort the Council. We realized that the importance of Vatican II was often lost on Catholics born after the 1950s—but we decided that we could articulate the principles of Vatican II without focusing on the Vatican Council itself.

See? We're not being invited to the table, which is not something Jesus would have done.

Haters like me are made in the image and likeness of God, and God doesn't make mistakes. We're baptized members of the Church, and such exclusion is very un-Christlike. Jesus hung out with haters, you know. He was inclusive. The MHCU community is growing, and we have a voice. More and more people are coming out every day, proud of our haterness.

I'm sorry if this revelation disappoints any of you...well, actually, no I'm not.