*Editor's note: I've invited a special guest to write a post to commemorate the solemn nature of Earth Day.*
Hello everyone! My name is Loofa Leaf, the Earth Day Dryad! Yay, it's Earth Day! I'm so full of glee and happiness today! It makes me want to fly!!
Once a year, on this very special day, I emerge from my secret woodland hideaway and leave presents for all the believing boys and girls. During the night, I travel around the world in my magical flying Prius, and enter homes through geothermal home-heating vents or solar panels. Then I fill their recyclable totes with all types of goodies, such as presents made out of 100% recycled products, or GMO-certified organic treats, or Blu-ray discs of important environmental films like "The Day After Tomorrow", or boxes of CFL bulbs.
I know that many have fallen for the so-called 'Climategate' scandal. That makes me so sad, because as fewer people believe in man-made global warming, then fewer children believe in me. And then I get stuck with all these products in my secret woodland hideaway - let me tell you, it's getting cluttered around here! Hopefully if Cap-n-Trade passes, more people will come to believe in me, and then I can unload some of this stuff next year.
So please, please tell your children that the Earth Day Dryad does exist! Have them decorate the compost bin! Encourage them to mail "Dear Loofa" letters (if you send them to Mr. Al Gore, they'll get to me!), listing all the wonderful environmentally friendly products they would love to have. Sing Earth Day carols! Just open your heart, and believe!
I'll leave you with my favorite Earth Day carol: "Loofa Leaf Is Comin' To Town".
You better cut back
You better not waste
You better keep track
Of how much carbon's displaced
Loofa Leaf is comin' to town
He's makin' a list
He's checkin' it twice
Gonna find out
Who won't sacrifice
Loofa Leaf is comin' to town
He knows if you're efficient
He knows if you pollute
He knows if you eat too much meat
So eat more veggies and fruit - oh!
You better cut back
You better not waste
You better keep track
Of how much carbon's displaced
Loofa Leaf is comin' to town!
Happy Earth Day everyone!!
