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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Better Heresy With Technology

The National Catholic Distorter spits out articles, editorials and guest columns that consistently misrepresent Church teaching and mislead on current events concerning the Pope, the Vatican and the universal church. They have co-opted "social justice" issues to such a degree, that they ought to be called the National Socialist Reporter. Not once, in all the years I've been forcing myself to read them, have they wavered in their tear-down-the-institutional-Church-and-arrest-all-the-bishops screed.

Thus, it got me wondering - despite the fact they employ known anti-Church writers and publish liberal/progressive/Catholyc opinion - how do they do it? How are they able to remain so on task, day-in and day-out, without never missing a beat? Sure, a broken clock is right twice a day, and a blind pig will root out a truffle here and there. But these guys are spot-on all.the.time. If journalism were baseball, these guys would be Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak and then some.

So I did some investigating, and this is what I learned: it's due to technology. While they write, a highly refined editing program called "Hereditorial" - an amalgamation of Heresy and Editorial - constantly runs in the background. As they work their little dissenting fingers away on their keyboards, Hereditorial checks their work and if something doesn't correlate with the program's algorithmic templates - if they stray too close to orthodoxy - error messages automatically pop up. The writer cannot proceed until resolving the error.

Here are some of the most common Hereditorial error messages (click images to enlarge):

Once they finish their article, the following message appears:

So there you have it - they're putting technology to evil use. For shame.

(Error messages developed at Atom Smasher Error Message Generator)