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Things A Catholic Ought Never Say
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Friday, August 20, 2010

Vanity Plates

Vanity plates are just as obnoxious as most bumper stickers. I read a lot of them, unfortunately, since my job as sales rep requires I drive quite a bit, and such things are rather unavoidable.

How many times have you read a vanity plate and it in no way represents the driver? Sure, perhaps the driver isn't the car owner, but if the owner shells out money for a vanity plate in the first place, what's the likelihood they'd let someone else drive it? Pretty small, I say.

I can't tell you how many times I see a plate that says something along the lines of 2SEXY4U, or IMDABOMB, only to observe that the driver is a future contestant of "The Biggest Loser" or an Austin Powers look-alike.

For the record, I do not have a vanity plate. As you can tell from my blog, I am extremely humble, and do my utmost not to draw attention to myself (*ahem*). Although in the spirit of full disclosure, my van does sport a bumper magnet displaying the call sign for the local Ave Maria Radio affiliate, but that's it.

But it got me thinking...others folks really could benefit from vanity plates. For instance -

Richard McBrien
Sr Joan Chittister (yeah, I know it's too big, so sue me)
The Westboro Baptist Crowd (I know - too big again. Too bad)
Martin Luther (I know he's dead, so sue me again)
George W Bush

Got any other suggestions?

(Images generated at ACME License Plate Maker)