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Just Thought You'd Like To Know...
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Monday, December 6, 2010

Does This Mean I'm A Bad Catholic?

I failed the "Eco-Catholic" Bioregional Quiz at the National Catholic Distorter. I couldn't answer all of them. My answers are in blue. I'm damned.

How well do you know your region? Take the quiz and find out.

Describe the way your drinking water goes from its point of origin to your faucet. In pipes.

How many days until full moon? (errors of up to two days allowed) Define "moon"....because, you know, the next time I step in the shower...

Describe the basic geology of the place you are living. What type of natural ground is there? The natural ground is made up of dirt. With some stones.

Approximately how much rain does your region get in a year? Less each year because of global warming climate change climate disruption.

When was the last great fire in your region? There was a three alarm a couple weeks ago.

What kind of food was usually consumed by the ancient cultures in your region? The dead kind.

Name five local herbs and the best time when they can be gathered. Lessee, I only know one - Herb Muehlhausen - and the best time to get him is closing time at the local bar.

From which direction do the storms come during winter in your region? They come from "up" know, like out of the sky.

Where is your garbage deposition? I keep it under the sink in the kitchen, like most people.

How long is the tillage and the harvest period in your region? Til it gets dark.

On which day in the year are the shadows shortest in your region? Depends on the person's height, doesn't it? And the time of day?

When is the rut of deer and when are the fawns born? They're born when the mom starts dilating. duh

Name five kinds of trees in your region! Are they native to your region? Hmmm...we have idola, pundri, indus, papis and the chemis varieties.

Name five birds which stay the whole year and five migrant birds of your region!

Do you know the history of utilization of your countryside?

Which ecologic processes were primarily influencing your region? Around these parts, it was Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.

Which species of your region are already extinct? I don't know - they were dead before I moved here.

Which types of plants are prevalent in your region? Right now, the dead ones are more prevalent.

You are sitting and reading this text now. Point to the north! It's over there!

Which spring wildflower is among the first to bloom in your region? Whichever one survives the rabbits, chipmunks and squirrels.

What is the primary source of electricity in your area? The outlets.

It's amazing that anyone takes that publication seriously.

"Eco-Catholic"? More like "Wacko-Gaian".