From the Daily Mail:
Breaking wind is set to be made a crime in an African country.Heh - coming soon to a national health care plan near you...The government of Malawi plan to punish persistent offenders 'who foul the air' in a bid to 'mould responsible and disciplined citizens.'
But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.
One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: 'My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?
'And how about at meetings where it is difficult to pinpoint 'culprits'?
'Children will openly deny having passed bad air and point at an elder. Culturally, this is very embarrassing,' she said.
Back in the day, the playground law was "Whoever smelt it, dealt it", remember? That still ought to work, doncha think?
Or maybe this is an opportunity for an entrepreneurial person to come up with a device that will accurately pinpoint the culprit, something small that people will be required to have on their person at all times, maybe in their back pocket. They can call it the Flatulence Alarm Reporting Tool. Each time the wearer activates the FART, a pre-recorded voice inside the device would alert others. Possible alert phrases could be "Sorry, my bad!"; " "Who cut the cheese?"; "Must have been something I ate!"; or "Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark!"
Well, all I know is, I'm striking Malawi off the list of places I want to visit - as long as the government over-reaches itself and seeks to restrict the freedoms of its citizens, I'll pass. I'm sure that those in charge don't want much publicity on this possible new law, either, because of its freedom-killing potential. They prefer it to be silent, but deadly.
