Valentine's Day Just Ain't What It Used To Be

St Valentine called - he's really really angry with the way some folks are celebrating the upcoming holiday, and he wants it stopped.

No, he's not talking to you married folks out there - mostly. You're okay - mostly. Now, he knows that a fair amount of you don't celebrate it the way Hallmark expects you to, and he's cool with that. It's not a federal law, much less a celestial one, that you have to celebrate St. Valentine's Day. Still, quite a few of you still do something special for the loved one in your life - whether it be a card, or candy, or roses or a romantic date - that's all good. Take the time that day to let your spouse know you love and appreciate them, if you so choose. Same goes for those who are engaged or dating - within reason, of course.

He's a tad miffed about the kids exchanging valentines in school - that's turned into just an excuse to have another class party, when it comes right down to it - and to be perfectly honest, he's confused as to what Transformers, Hello Kitty!, Scooby-Doo and Spider-Man have to do with his day. Such crass commercialization is a by-product of our secularized and over-marketed society - he understand that, but he's not happy about it. And who can blame him? Even Catholic parents join such festivities, with nary a mention of him - that has him rather upset, and he's taking names. Just so you know.

But what really has his goat is this:

How To Handle Valentine's Day When You're Polyamorous from AOL News.

You'd think that a woman who enjoys what she calls "sport sex" wouldn't have trouble finding a Valentine.

But you'd be wrong, both about the woman and her situation.

Angye Fox, 40, runs a successful ad agency in Florida and, yes, she is also a swinger who has sex with different partners without being in love with any of them.

Although she sometimes goes to swing parties with a male friend, she considers herself single.

As such, Valentine's Day is a melancholy time for her.

"It can be lonely," she told AOL News. "Take New Year's Eve, for instance. I do a radio show in Florida called the FOXXXY Forum, and we did a live remote at a swing club between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. After the show was over, my co-host ran with her husband and some friends and I was there by myself with nobody to kiss."

Awww, what a cryin' shame. A fornicator with no one to kiss on New Year's Eve, or no one to share Valentine's Day with - at least who she knows on a first name basis, or from the waist up. This article is trying to elicit sympathy for people who participate in aberrant sexual behavior - well, I call that "illicit" sympathy.

The only way in which I feel sorry for this lady, and others like her, is that she's trying to fill a void in her life - authentic mature love - with just sex. That reality is blazingly obvious in the first three sentences: "having sex without being in love". It's sad. She, and other swingers like her, are willing to jeopardize salvation for a little bit of empty pleasure.

The way Fox sees it, swinging is "sport sex," and separate from the intimacy involved with, say, making love. Although she enjoys it and believes it's a more natural choice than complete sexual monogamy, she also admits she'd like to find someone to share her life with -- and eventually maybe some other sex partners.

"I've been divorced since 2004 and I pray that I will find someone special," she said. "I wouldn't want to swing at first -- I don't recommend people do that until they really get to know each other -- but maybe keep it as an option down the road."

It pains me to say this, but she won't find anyone special as long as she treats herself like a wastepaper basket. Until she sees herself as special and worthy, who else is gonna? Except for someone with a matching level of low self-esteem, I suppose. And "swinging" is not more natural that sexual monogamy, because if it were, why would it be "an option down the road"? Wouldn't monogamy be the option? Whatever. Sin, as they say, makes you stupid.

Because Valentine's Day is the day picked to celebrate romance, couples in all types of relationships plan different types of events -- even swingers and polyamorists.

But while monogamous couples might think of going out for a fancy dinner, swingers might use the occasion as a chance to enjoy the company of each other and other partners, according to journalist George Pappas who researched swingers for an erotic novel called "Monogamy Sucks" (Lazy Day Publishing).

"Valentine's Day is not just another date for swingers," Pappas said. "Certain clubs do Valentine's events where they can hook up. But while some swingers do use the day to have parties, it still has the same meaning as the mainstream -- swingers have just expanded their sex life."

See, even swingers and polyamorists (more on them later) plan for this romantic day, which makes them as normal as monogamists. Uh, no. They aren't normal - they are the exception to the rule, and as Chesterton said, paraphrasically, it is the exception that proves the rule. Not only is this article trying to get you to feel bad for these deviants, it wants you to consider the behavior as hip and fun. Mainstream. Acceptable. Well, just because it's between consenting adults, doesn't make the behavior right.

On the other hand, there is another sexual subset that handles Valentine's Day in a different way: Polyamorists.

Often confused with swingers, they actually are very different from each other, according to Fox.

Not that much different - a fornicator is a fornicator is a fornicator.

"Swingers might hook up with another couple for sex one night and never see each other again," she said. "On the other hand, when polyamorists get involved with other people, it's an emotional attachment and they are involved in each other's lives beyond sex."

One of these polyamorists is Dr. Patti Evans, a mental health therapist and a doctor of oriental medicine in Tampa, Fla. She is also Fox's co-host on their radio show.

Although she is happily married to her husband, the two are involved with another couple and, recently, she started a side relationship with another man.

Adultery, fornication, probably throw in some contraception...yeah, totally normal behavior.

Since Evans is emotionally attached to all these people, she admits that she and the others are forced to do some calendar juggling around Feb. 12, 13 and 14.

"We're getting together with our 'poly couple' on the 12th, and the 13th will be spent with my paramour and the 14th will be with my husband," Evans recounted. "My slogan is 'Love is limitless, but time is not.'"

'Love is limitless, but time is not'? Lady, you don't know how ironic that slogan is. What you have is lust, not love. Spreading your legs for three different men is not love - it's a sickness, and God, who is limitless Love, is the cure.

And I'm not so sure she is emotionally attached to all those people - seems to me she's addicted to sex and emotionally detached from reality. She's not content, and I don't think the swinger chick is either. They're prime examples of St. Augustine's famous phrase: "Our hearts are restless, Lord, till they rest in Thee."

There's more to the article, but I can't in good conscience reprint the remainder. I've probably posted more than I ought.

But there you have it - that's why St. Valentine called. The cartoon character valentines are bad enough, but the misappropriation of his holy day by perversion and abject sexual impurity was enough to send him over the edge.