So You Want To Be A Catholic Apologist

(Welcome NewAdvent visitors! Along with everyone from the NC Register and Pulp.it. And thanks for stopping by, Mark Shea readers!)

It isn't all that hard, really. There's only a handful of things you need in order to be an effective and successful Catholic apologist.

1. Faithfulness to the Magisterium.
2. Love of Scripture
3. Passion for the truth.
4. Facial hair.

Actually, all you need is the facial hair.

Scott Hahn

Mike Aquilina

Jeff Cavins

Mark Shea

Jimmy Akin

Peter Herbeck

Curtis Martin

Unless you have a serious 'stache like Patrick Madrid (below), you really ought to include the beard or goatee.


Dr Ray went with the Patrick Madrid look, as you can see. It's turned out very well for him.


Exceptions to the Facial Hair Rule are rare. Steve Ray (below) gets a pass because he has that wild Jerusalem Jones look happening.


And Tim Staples gets to do what he wants, because he's a Marine. He probably knows 75 different ways to kill a man without leaving a mark. Just sayin'.


Oh - and Michael Voris has a sword - who's going to argue with a guy who has a sword? Anyone? I didn't think so.


It takes nearly a week for my 5 o'clock shadow to show up. I will never be a Catholic apologist.