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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Breaking News! Patheos Announces Newest Contributor!

(AoftheAP) Fresh on the heels of landing big-time bloggers Mark Shea of 'Catholic And Enjoying It', Kat of 'The Crescat' and Marc Barnes of 'Bad Catholic', the religious portal "Patheos" has announced that they have landed perhaps the biggest name in Catholic blogdom: Pontifex Blogimus.

"We're extremely excited to have Pontifex Blogimus join the Patheos team," a spokesman for the portal told AoftheA. "Adding that blog to our already impressive roster sets up a star-studded lineup that stands head and shoulders above any other religious web portal out there. Just imagine how much traffic to Patheos is going to increase."

Terms of the contract have not yet been released, but it's fair to say that Pontifex Blogimus will undoubtedly command some impressive compensation. As to content, Patheos gave assurances that Pontifex Blogimus won't be restricted.

"Obviously, a certain level of sensitivity towards our Wiccan, Eastern spirituality and non-Catholic contributors has to be afforded. But just think about it - this will make Patheos the place to go on the Internet for top-notch Catholic blogging," the spokesman said. "No one will have any reason to go anywhere else, ever again."

Upon landing the high-profile blog, other Catholic web portals have indicated that they are not taking this action lying down. Unconfirmed reports from the National Catholic Register indicate that they are close to inking deals with heavy hitters "Standing On My Head" and "What Does The Prayer Really Say?"

"It's important that we keep pace with Patheos," an NCR rep told AoftheA on the condition of anonymity. "We're pleased with our line-up, but you can never have too many solid performers on the team. Both blogs are close to signing, as we're putting the finishing touches on negotiations with their agents. I expect an official announcement will be made by the middle of next week."

The National Catholic Reporter has responded immediately to the Patheos news as well, by tendering offers to Charles Curran, Hans Kung and Hugo Chavez, the president of Venezuela. All three are expected to accept the offers and begin submitting weekly columns before the end of October.

America, dotCommonweal and Vox Nova declined to be interviewed, except to state that while they understand the world of Catholic blogging is evolving to paying web portals, they prefer to remain pure and unstained by what they call "materialistic motives".

But what does all this mean for the smaller blogs unaffiliated with web portal teams?

"Well, they've got their little niche, that's for sure," the Patheos spokesman said. "They have their cadre of followers, and we believe that they will somehow survive and stick around. They won't be able to compete with us or the Register, but we're sure they'll be happy even if their readerships shrink and hits dwindle down. Besides, we look at those blogs as our "farm system" - they're developing, they're improving their skills, with the hope that one day they'll be ready for the big show.

"We're always on the lookout for the Next Big Blog. In order to run a successful web portal, you can't stand still. Yes, we've landed the big fish with Pontifex Blogimus, but that doesn't mean we're done."